30 Harsh Things to Say to a Naked Man!
I think we can all use a break from dissecting the idiocy out of life every day....so here's a "Little" something to make you
laugh out loud! LOL, heh heh
~ 30 Harsh Things to Say to a Naked Man! ~
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that thing.
2. Ohhhhh, it’s so cute.
3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
4. You know, they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are So Big.
8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh, no, I feel a flash headache coming on.
11. Just * giggle and point* tee hee.
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like That before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so un-used.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we just skip ahead right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why we’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird!
Hopefully, if you’re a guy, you’ve never had to hear these comments. And, if you're a girl, you've never had to contemplate saying them…hee hee.
29 comments:
LMAO!!! I was like "Check...said that one...check...that one too..."
And the ending visual? Do you hate us that much to give us that? *barf*
Much love hon!
24. If you get me real drunk first.
Yep...that would be the response today...20 years ago? Not so much...
BTW...your sidebar squirrels dance quite nicely to "It ain't no fun waitin' 'round to be a millionaire," by the REAL AC/DC (with Bon Scott), which is playing on my iTunes as we speak.
I was LMAO. Thanks for the humor. I remember shrinkage being talked about in a Seinfeld episode-Did you just come out of the pool?
I was thinking of the Seinfeld shrinkage too, lol!!!! Great and funny post.
Hi B & G Sweetie!
I'm sorry you had to check off a few on the list! oh well, what can you do?.....except maybe
#24, as Dr. Dave suggested...ha ha.
Dave! Thanks for stopping by and your tweet to onim today. I was swamped and sick at work, didn't even tweet once! Your latest post is funny, as usual.
AC/DC, I LUV them! Yes, Bon was the man, Brian, has his moments, but he has improved with "Black Ice" Whenever I want to have a beer & rock, nothing beats /dc. The squirrels are partial to them too! I don't have an itunes, maybe now that I'm getting the MAC and they are putting my like 450 cds on it from my Seagate hard drive, I'll buy one and load it up.
Hi Teresa! Thanks for coming by! I thought of that Seinfeld too, it's a classic....george, he would be the guy to say that.
Hey, do you have a blog, I clicked your profile and can't find it, let me know! Thanks for being a loyal reader!
Opie! Hi Hon, how are you? Have you recovered from your exciting nite. I read about it on Nickie's Blog....ohhh I'm soooo jealous, jk, I'm happy you had such a great time, you deserve it. I'm sure they were both very happy to have such charming company.
Update: Hey everyone! Teresa does have a blog, I just found it, it's linked now on her profile.
Check it out, she has some great thoughtful stuff on there, and funnies, and all sorts of cool things!
Amusing Bunnie,
Thanks for stopping by and following my blog.
You know you can get a shot for that now that will clear that right up.
when you swim, do those float?
Is it hard to drive a stick shift car with those?
When you sleep, do they drag you off the bed?
You should have used my plastics surgeon, She would have given you half off and let you try them out too.
Don't you hate getting a soaker when you are sitting on the potty?
You realize that in a cat two hurricane, those will cause you to be airborne.
How many pitbull/squirrel mixes are running around here now?
I could go on but the rest of them a rather dirty.
Hi, Bunni - if your planning to visit my place, I'd leave the brain bleach until afterwards - no point in having to use it twice!
lolz bad girl! Heh
SHE SAYS: Who do you think you're gonna please with that?
HE SAYS: The only one that matters, myself,.....same as always!
Your mac will have Itunes (the song storage software installed), you are thinking of Ipod. I have had mine for 3 years problem free and I h=use the heck out of it. What you can do is get a pack of blank DVDs and you can burn your whole collection onto 4 or 5 dvds using mp3 format. I suggest strongly you back up your photos to dvds too. Basically anything that you want to keep, back up to DVD using the "Data Disc option and You will not have to worry about losing files. I accidentally deleted 13 tracks off of Itunes the other day, so I pulled out my backup and reloaded them. In fact, I am due to back up my photos so I am going to do that tonight.
Andrew33: Those were Hilarious! I really should have told my squirrel to put some pants on, but then we would have missed your silly sayings!
Thanks for stopping by and also your help on the Mac stuff what I should do when I get home and play around w/the i-tunes!
Spidey: Yes, I did see that last night, the cartoon? Many cleaning products are needed after that one,inc. industrial strength bleach.... funny as Sh&t...no pun intended...hee hee.
Hi Angel: Yes, some of those hit below the belt! ha ha ha
Hi Jim: How you doing? Yes, your comment is funny/sad but true. But, I'm sure there are some nice guys out there where that wouldn't be the case...(If I ever find one, he'll be an exhibit in Ripley's Believe it or not)
Wow! First time passing by this blog, and I get this!
LMBO! Those were harsh, but VERY FUNNY!!
This is no different than the one we did on my blog where we did the same thing with that pic of Obama and Sarkozy looking at that round pink dress. That was the funniest blog I have ever done. If you enjoyed this one, go back to KOOKs Manifesto and check that one out. I laughed so hard at that one that my chest was sore for 2 days. Every once in a while you need to get a good laugh on. It relieves the stress of watching a halfbreed Muslim bastard destroy our country.
Hi Mr. Bill:
Glad to meet you, thanks for stopping by and following me. The squirrel would have gotten dressed if he knew there would be company!
Your blog is funny too, I'm following now.
AD33: Yes, that post with everyone writing captions about perv o & sarcozy was funny! I'll have to visit it again. You are right that we need a laugh to cheer us up from this AWFUL pres/house/congress....it's an endless nightmare and makes me very unsettled. Take Care, and Give Kee some catnip from me.
Does the squirrel wear a jock when he water skis?
How much does Delta charge you to check those when you fly coach?
You realize that under Obama's new health care plan those will be taxed by the square inch?
You must have used he same plastic surgeon as Nancy Pelosi. Those and Pelosi's face would make a good fit.
Are those silicone or plastic?
When an Asian Leopard decides you're dinner, how are yo going to run with those. When you run, will it register on the richter scale?
Hee Hee, I'm laughing alot here,
Bats/Throws Right: Thanks for stopping by! The squirrel doesn't tell me what he does when he water skis, I'll buy him one for his birthday!
AD33: You are such a hoot!
Hey Sweets!
Just wanted to tell you that I told Joel to give you my email. Need to ask a question.
Much love to you and my troops! :-D
Btw...I've referred to that part of the male anatomy as the "Kiwi Twins". Egg-shaped and somewhat fuzzy. You should've seen the look on my hubby's face the day we were in Wal-Mart and I held up a couple of kiwis and asked "Look familiar?" IT WAS PRICELESS!!!
Be thankful I didn't go into the dirty ones that came to mind. As a Christian I try to avoid such language and I was really on the fence with these. Of course that same chain link fence would be painful for that squirrel.
I love it when you make me laugh out loud.
Hi B & G: Email mission accomplished, ck yours for latest update! I would have loved to be in the produce section when you did that...hee hee.
AD33: I'm so glad you're restraining yourself, As a nice Christian gal myself, I've already overstepped the bounds of good taste, no doubt.
Hi Nickie: I'm glad you had a great laugh.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, the last joke. Thanks for the visual.
Otherwise you were right Super Funny post. Thanks for the LOLS.
#31. Oprah once talked about guys like you on her show.
PS: I saw your funny comment on Mr. Bill blog :) I didnt know you were blogger friend :)
Hi Lazy King! Glad you liked. Your # 31 is a keeper.
Mr. Bill found me from a comment I made on your blog and he followed me....he's really funny too!
Have a great weekend
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